COPS: STARS Edition
by The Kakashi
Summary: This is the result of what happens when the most successful cop show of all time decides to follow the elite unit of the Raccoon City Police Department.


(All subjects are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law)

**- June 24th, 1997 - Underground Parking Lot of the RPD – 8:31 PM**

"Explain this to me again" blurted out the leader of the S.T.A.R.S. unit Captain Albert Wesker as he kept his arm crossed across his chest and kept his icy demeanor.

Surrounding him were the on-duty members of S.T.A.R.S. for that late afternoon. Closest was the large man of the Alpha Team, Barry Burton. Standing next to him were Jill Valentine and Chris Redfield, who emulated Barry's expression of looking somewhat confused and concerned at the same time. Rounding out the group was Brad Vickers, who seemed content to stand behind his colleagues, farthest away from his captain and the man with whom the blond captain was having a war of words.

"It is just as I told you captain" exclaimed a portly middle aged man. He was Chief Irons, the leader of the Raccoon Police Department. "Our fair police station has been chosen to host a week-long special set of episodes of COPS! I want them to see the best we have here in the RPD, and that's you and your boys!"

"Heh heh…" Chris let out a proud smirk and elbowed Barry as Chief Irons explained once more to his captain why there were several teams of camera and sound men waiting for them in the garage. Chris' smirked quickly left his mouth when he saw Wesker giving him what Chris nicknamed 'The Shaded Stink Eye'

"Yes yes, but correct me if I am misinformed, but the show is about Cops; cops, as in patrolmen, who deal with drunken fools that are often speeding and running down streets shirtless." It irked Wesker to have this suddenly thrown on him. His unit was a special task force, to be used for difficult missions and not to drive around with a camera and boom microphone. Even worse, as an undercover agent for Umbrella's Intelligence Division, it was exactly ideal to have his face on national TV.

Now Chief Irons was losing his patience. Wesker was the only captain on the force who always managed to get his way, but he had come mentally prepared. 'That's why this week will be special! Now if you want to argue this, the mayor can always hear your complaint, but you'll have to wait until Monday."  
>Feeling that he was in one of those rare situations he couldn't escape without his gun, he simply let out the slightest groan and accepted what waited for him.<p>

"Ha!" was Irons' response. "Glad you see it my way Wesker, now you and your team make this city proud!"

Yes sir!" was the group response of Barry, Chris and Jill, with Brad timidly joining in. All things considered, it was an exciting thing that they'd be on TV and they all showed it with grins abound.  
>"I wonder if America's ready for you on TV Chris…" joked Barry.<p>

"Probably not" added Jill as she smiled and slipped on her beret.

Wesker frowned and finally uncrossed his arms. "Somebody better join me on patrol or else…"

Suddenly all four S.T.A.R.S. members lost their smiles and dreaded the coming evening.

**- Downtown Raccoon City; RPD squad car with Chris and Brad – 9:19 PM**

"This city is my home. And my home is to be protected, specially protected from herself. Isn't that right Brad?" Chris turned to ask his partner for the night as he drove down the street with the TV crew shooting from the backseat. Ever since leaving the station Chris seemed to be channeling back comic book dialogue to sound more intense.

"Oh yeah; it's something else, you know…being part of S.T.A.R.S. and being out there, with all that danger…I mean you know…who you going to call?" Brad had his brave face on and tried to act as cool as Chris, but in reality he was happy just being ignored and letting Chris hog the spotlight.

"Exactly! Everywhere you look at, crime can just spring out at you. Us S.T.A.R.S. may be only used for high stakes missions, but we are police as well, and we take our duty to protect citizens serious…" he said in a lower than normal tone for dramatic purpose.

The patrol car came to a stop at a street light as the radio came to life.

"UNIT 036 RESPOND."

"This is Unit oh-thirty six, come in base" Chris responded, feeling a little jump in his adrenaline. He turned to Brad to see him having what appeared to be the opposite reaction.

"WE HAVE A PUBLIC DISTURBANCE REPORTED AT MUSEUM DRIVE, RIGHT BY THE UNIVERSITY OF RACCOON; UNRULLY COLLEGE STUDENTS. PROCEED TO RESPOND UNIT 036."

Chris was glad he was starring ahead He had a grin from ear to ear. It was a perfectly little scenario for a Special Tactics team members like him and Brad to handle and look good on TV doing so. "Brad…" Chris nodded to his partner and then turned to the camera "The night starts early it seems."

"Unit oh-thirty six; we receive and acknowledge" Brad replied on the radio then leaned back, knowing his quiet night was messed up.

Chris turned on the siren and hammered down the pedal as soon as the light turned green, enjoying the chance to show off his driving.

They reached the frat houses at Museum Drive in less than 4 minutes. The camera men got out first, with Chris exiting the car with his game face on. Brad, not so much. In front of them were about 2 dozen college student crowded in a circle looking at something; most turned to see the patrol car drive up.

Chris grabbed the patrol's radio unit and switched it to speakers. "Okay everyone, this is the RPD. Let's break this up, now before we have a big problem here!"

Most of the crowd who hadn't seen or heard the patrol squad over now turned fully, looking worried.

The crowd dissipated in a flash and revealed too student beating up a third.

"Stop that right now!" Chris yelled through the patrol's speakers.

The two students doing the beating up turned to see Chris and quickly bolted down the street.

Without losing a beat Chris saw this and snapped into action. "Holy cow a street race on foot on COPS, yes!" Suddenly he turned to see the boom microphone guy next to him. "Dang I said that out loud!" He mentally scolded himself and turned to Brad as he kept running. "Brad let's go!"

Brad flinched at the sound of his name. 'O-okay!" He started running…headed back to the patrol car.

"Damn it Brad!" Chris yelled out and ignored him, focusing on the two runaways. One of the two wasn't in all that great shape so Chris caught up to him, grabbed him by the shoulder and spun to toss him head first against a dumpster, then continued running after the other guy as the COPS crew chased him.

Even now Chris turned to the camera to narrate 'Perp running! Will catch him!" Satisfied with that he turned back to the runner. 'Stop right there!"

Both the perp and Chris turned into an alley with a fence making it a dead end. The college student tried to jump over to escape but got caught and pulled down to the floor half way up and over by Chris, who proceeded to drive his knee into the man's ribs as he cuffed him, all while doing excessive grunting and angry faces for the camera.

The other college student, whom Chris thought was out of action suddenly ran by and saw Chris and the cameras. He freaked and turned to run across the street, but found himself ramming the squad car's hood, while a scared Brad at the wheel.

Chris groaned and pulled his suspect up. "Damn it Brad!"

**- Raccoon City's East Side - S.T.A.R.S. squad car with Jill and Wesker – 9:43 PM**

"…and that's what being a cop means to me" finished Jill.

The crew of COPS saw that there had been little interaction in the squad car, with neither officer wanting to spend too much face time with the camera.

Despite the fact that the stiff Captain Wesker had picked whom he thought the most camera friendly in his team was to satisfy the COPS guys, they had started asking questions with the camera off, then turned it on to make it appear as a fluid conversation.

Jill then turned to Wesker, knowing what to expect as an answer before she asked. 'What about you captain? I don't think you've ever mentioned the big why before."

Wesker looked at her with a neutral face. "…. "Then he turned back to the road. "I had my reasons…"

Jill and the camera man both sighed collectively, having heard this response from Wesker at least three times in the past hour.

She turned to the cameraman, not wanting to be viewed by America as a stiff and boring cop like her captain. "You know, the fact that tonight is so quiet is really what this job's all about…"

Suddenly Wesker stopped the car and everyone else hunched forward from the sudden stop.  
>"Captain? What the…" Jill asked before Wesker raised his hand and cut her off.<p>

He turned left to see inside down and alley where two mysterious-looking individuals seemed to be talking about something. Wesker also took not of the area they were in and turned to Jill, who nodded in understanding.

She turned to the camera men as Wesker slowly backed the car up and parked it. "We're in Raccoon's Little Amsterdam, known for the highest amount of drug trafficking in the city."

"Let's go" Wesker said as he got out of the car.

The cameraman made sure to get shots of both their Samurai Edge handguns as they exited the squad car.

Somewhat casually, Jill and Wesker walked up to the alley and turned to find both men still there. Both seemed startled when they spotted the cops, accompanied by the COPS crew.

"Hold it right their gentlemen" Wesker spoke out, his voice calm and cool, as if he was talking to an acquaintance.

"I didn't do nothing man! I was just looking at the prices!" One of the men, who was clearly the buyer freaked and started running further down the alley. The other tried to grab him but wasn't able and became openly frustrated, turning to Jill and Wesker.

"You two pigs just cost me my best payoff all night!" said the dealer.

"That's really the least of your troubles now right now" Jill said as she and Wesker began walking down the alley, with her holding out cuffs ready to arrest the dude.

Halfway into the alley, the man started laughing and whistled loudly. From the windows on both sides, and even from inside a dumpster, 6 other gang members came out, all wielding weapons such as knives and lead pipes.

"Mess these two coppers up fast; then we take out the idiot tapping us." The dealer pointed at the cameraman with a grin as he spoke.

"Last chance to turn in" Wesker suddenly spoke out in his still cool tone.

Jill turned to him, assuming a fighting stance rather than reaching for her gun. "I don't think that'll work captain…"

"Standard procedure Jill, we have cameras on us after all." Wesker responded with a subtle shift in his stance. "We knock out. No deadly force."

Jill nodded as she responded.

"Get those punk asses!" yelled out the gang leader with a wide blood thirsty smile.

Quickly Jill and Wesker parted, each grabbing the first attacker that reached them by the wrist and wrenched to toss them against the nearby wall. Wesker's throw had more force and ended up tossing the man head first. He quickly moved to the closest two men, with switchblades quickly aiming for him. Not missing a beat he stopped one blade by grabbing the man's wrist and the other by side-stepping and elbowing the attacker in the nose, busting it open. With one of them knocked out and the other scream due to a busted nose, there were 5 left, the dealer included.

A second after Wesker landed his elbow the number went down to 4, with Jill finishing off her first thug with a well placed jumping knee to the chin. She had enough time to go for a trash can lid to protect herself from the lead pipe coming at her. Having blocked the attack, the grabbed the edge of the lid and aimed it at the man's neck, who had zero combat training. Easily enough down the man went and landed in front of the brave (or stupid) cameramen getting all the action.

She turned to find her captain with on boot on a man's neck down on the floor while he hit another with a stiff uppercut that sure dislocated something. She saw the last two going to gang up on Wesker so she did a cartwheel which ended with her landing her boot right in the man's face, tossing his face through a glass window.

"…And then there was one" Jill said as she turned to see the drug leader as the last one standing.

Wesker cracked his knuckles as he walked over, ready for any desperate moves the man might try.

"I surrender!" the gang leader blurted out and dropped to his knees whimpering out loud.

Captain Wesker of S.T.A.R.S. wasn't one for sympathy however. "You have the right to remain silent…"

He started reciting the Miranda Rights as he cuffed this fool, as Jill dealt with the others.

The COPS crew went in for a close up of Wesker as he dragged the thugs out one by one from the street.

Wesker groaned slightly and swatted the camera towards Jill, who was now at the patrol car's radio calling for an additional unit to haul these guys away.

Once that was done, the cameraman paused his taping and turned to the always stiff Wesker. "Can I hang with you again tomorrow?"

**- Burger World near Raccoon City Park - Parking lot – 10:07 PM**

Barry and the group of filmmakers that had been assigned to him sat in the back of the official S.T.A.R.S. police van as they ate their late night snacks. The night had been nothing special, a burglar Barry had caught trying to break into a furniture store of all places, and some drunken fool looking to steal a car were the highlights of the evening so far.

Being the warm guy that he was however, he had gotten along well with the COPS guys, and they were now taking a break from shooting to grab a bite to eat.

"…And that's why you can't compare a burger to a sandwich." Barry finished off, after a ten minute lecture on sandwiches.

As they finished eating Barry headed back to the wheel of the van. As if on cue, a car sped by the main road, almost hitting a pedestrian.

"What the…?" was his reaction, quickly followed by starting the van. "Hang on and turn the video camera on!"

The van roared out off the parking lot and into the streets. The sirens now rang loudly signaling incoming traffic to move out of the way. As the COPS guys stared taping, Barry got on the radio.

"This is Unit 0-9-8 calling base. I am in hot pursuit of a speeding vehicle, westbound on Showcase Road. Request additional units. Copy base." Barry talked while the cameraman did what he so well knew what to do (videotape).

"COPY THAT 0-9-8. ADDITIONAL UNITS WILL BE DISPATCHED. OVER AND OUT."

With that out of the way, Barry was left to focus solely on driving. The speeding vehicle was some SUV, so it was not escaping as easily as a bike or compact would have.

Barry swerved back and force avoiding traffic with the guys in the back fighting to get sound and visual, without throwing up the burgers they just ate.

"Ah man! Busy intersection ahead!" Barry warned, and the two guys in the back grabbed whatever they could.

The SUV up front clipped a sports car but kept going. The sports car however bounced hard and slide out of control against two other cars. It pissed Barry of and also made him worry for those drivers, but first things first. He shifted and hit the gas now that the next half a mile was straight road. The van roared louder than expected and seemed to catch up to the SUV.

"As you can see," Barry stated as-a-matter-of-factly as he avoided traffic, remembering he was a TV star tonight, "S.T.A.R.S. gets the absolute best in law enforcement equipment!"

Now just feet away from the speeding SUV, Barry could tell the man must have been under the influence with the SUV having trouble driving straight. There was little choice with such a danger on the road, so he went for a pit maneuver. It worked perfectly, forcing to the SUV to swerve uncontrollably and stall when it hit a concrete divider. Caught up in the moment though Barry almost lost control himself, stopping only after taking out three parking tolls, two large shrubs and a mail box.

He smiled nervously towards the camera as other patrols arrived at the scene. "You guys can edit that out right?"

Suddenly the radio cracked to life and a familiar voice filled the air.

"THIS IS CAPTAIN WESKER TO UNIT 98. COME IN BURTON."

Barry turned to the radio and answered. 'This is Barry captain, come in."

"BARRY, WE HAVE A SITUATION. HEAD TO KENDO'S GUN SHOP ON THE DOUBLE."

Barry Burton said nothing, but by the look on his face, the COPS guys knew something big was about to go down.

**- Kendo's Gun Shop – 10:18 PM**

The scene was not something you normally saw on an episode of COPS. The group that had been following Jill, Wesker, Chris and Brad were now together getting as much footage as they were allowed.

With S.T.A.R.S. members arriving on the scene, Wesker among them, they had taken command of the dangerous situation. Even in his all business mood, Chris still tried to get the COPS guys some decent shots while Wesker ignored the foolishness and discussed the situation with Jill, Brad and an RPD lieutenant.

"So far the situation is as followed" Wesker began as Chris joined in "we have an escaped convict hold up in the building. Exactly seven minutes ago we received a phone call from inside stating that he had the owner inside as a hostage in the building's backroom. As if that wasn't bad enough, the backroom in this situation is the storehouse of a gun shop…a gun shop run by a retired member of the National Guard. Use your imaginations."

A loud siren interrupted Wesker. It was Barry arriving with the TV crew in tow. The COPS crew were held back by policemen as Barry, looking pissed off and determined walked up to Wesker.

"Quick and easy, what's going on Captain?" Barry blurted out.

Chris was the one to respond though, knowing Barry might appreciate little tact. "Joe's alright Barry, but he's being held in the backroom by some guy that escaped prison last night."

"He's also demanding a getaway car and no police pursuit till he's out of the state or he'll do in Kendo." Jill added.

Barry rammed his fists together after hearing this. "We have to do something!"

"We're weighing our options Barry. Don't lose your head." Wesker coolly replied.

Brad suddenly interrupted, followed by a patrolman. "Sorry captain, but the convict is calling again."

Brad took a radio the patrolman was carrying and handed it over to Wesker. This was the second time they would be speaking.

"You are surrounded. We've been over this. Surrender and it will be taken into account at your trial."

Wesker spoke as if he was telling this man what to do.

The line was silent. Wesker listened until suddenly shots were fired from inside the store. Everyone ducted behind patrol cars to avoid the frenzied shooting. One of the bullets hit a window next to a COPS cameraman, and the man only thought that today it had been a wise choice to wear dark pants.  
>"That's my answer copper! Now get me my car of the fat fool gets it!" After that a click as heard on the radio and the sound of static.<p>

"Not very diplomatic captain" Jill commented as she stood up slowly.

"You mean Wesker or that crazy guy in there?" Chris asked turning to Jill; his one-liners doing little to help out, as usual.

"Knock it off you two." Wesker ordered, mostly focused on the situation at hand. "It doesn't matter what he wants. The only way this situation is going to end is with him getting taken down."

'What about Joe? He's still in there!" Barry quickly responded. He was a veteran of police service, but Joe was one of his closest friends and it was hard to be objective in situations like this. But then again, that's what the captain was there for.

As expected, Wesker didn't even flinch and cut Barry off before he kept going with his tirade. "Calm down Barry. Don't tell me a night with TV has gotten you so soft. This is what we do. We're S.T.A.R.S."

"Damn right we are!" Chris felt the need to add that.

Turning back to Barry, Wesker continued talking. "Now you've been in their enough to know the layout. I'm not wasting any time waiting for the building plans from city hall. Give me all the access points into that backroom." Wesker was now all business, and this is why the team admired him; he never lost his cool no matter than situation.

Barry nodded and focused. "Right…well there's the back door, the door that leads to the store front, and a stair from the second floor but…"

"That's it then." Wesker quickly stopped Barry as soon as he heard the stairs mentioned.

"What's it? The second floor?" Jill began and Wesker nodded. She continued thinking aloud as she looked at the building beside Kendo's Gun Shop. "Seems possible, but we'd have to jump from a third floor to the roof of Kendo's, since there are no windows on that second floor that any of us can fit through."

"We also need to make sure he's distracted so we can come down the stairs and catch him by surprise." Chris added.

Wesker raised his eyebrow at the pistol marksman and looked to his left and right, with patrol cars and police men all around. "Not an issue." With a course of action settled on, Wesker called the lieutenant over and told him to stand by. He then went over the plan. 'Okay, Barry, you're with me; Brad, stay out of the way and keep the COPS crew busy; Chris and Jill will handle the second floor infiltration. You two will go down the stairs and take him down as soon as I initiate the distraction in 4 minutes, starting now."

Everyone nodded and walked off to their tasks. Brad separated to join the TV crew, but found them instead walking over. He tried to ask them to stop, but they powered through him and went up to Wesker. "If you don't mind, it's kind of our job to follow you guys around. Even the two walking over to the building next door. If something's going down, we need to tape it."

Wesker wasn't impressed, nor inclined to agree. "Back behind the line and let us work. I doubt anything you say would make me agree with you."

The cameraman representing the others thought for a moment and looked back at the sunglass-wearing captain. "If we get some good action tonight, we could leave early…"

Wesker arched his eyebrow slight, with Barry looking on. "Don't get in my men's way and don't sue us if you get shot."

The COPS guys nodded and one camera operator ran after Jill and Chris while the rest got more footage of the action.

**- Next door to Kendo's Gun Shop – 10:28 PM**

There was 95 seconds to go on the countdown. Chris and Jill, with much objection had let the video cameraman chase them up the stair and up to the roof of the next door building. Now they were measuring the distance to jump.

Chris turned to the cameraman and gave him a thumbs up. "Make sure you get this. We won't be doing it again."

"Ready?" Jill spoke up, observing the clock.

"Ready." Chris responded.

Both nodded, took several steps back and run with a head of steam, leaping off the third story roof, and landing on the Gun Shop's roof, all the while dodging all the electrical cables and other hazards such as old pipes and what not.

With that hurdle out of the way, Jill headed to the edge and slid down a drain pipe to reach the second floor window. They had 60 seconds left.

The window was locked. Jill cursed herself for not expecting it. She was however always prepared and took out a lock pick, working as fast as she could to get it open.

"Feel free to hurry up!" Chris said, trying not to sound anxious.

**- Kendo's Gun Shop – 10:29 PM**

As Barry, Brad, Wesker and what Wesker liked to think of as 'an idiot with a camera' looked at the roof, they saw two figures land on top of the building.

"On schedule." Wesker noted. "Time for our part."

He grabbed a megaphone and addressed the convict. "This is Captain Wesker again. We have considered and accepted your proposal. Feel free to make contact and determine what model and color vehicle you wish for."

Brad and Barry did a double take, as did the COPS crew when they heard Wesker's distraction.

"Is that really going to work captain?" Brad asked, unsure he really wanted to ask that of Wesker.

Wesker turned to him and scoffed. 'That fool escaped only yesterday and his first act is to rob a gun shop, with the owner still inside, and then ask for 'a getaway car'. We aren't dealing with a criminal genius here. That was more than enough."

Barry was about to open his mouth to object as well when suddenly gun shots rang from inside the building. Everyone tensed up and drew their weapon towards the building, ready to fire at any movement, all but Wesker that is. Next followed a span of 30 seconds of nothing.

Suddenly movement. A ball cap was being waved from the door leading to the back. Wesker saw it and nodded.

"Everyone stand down" he ordered over the megaphone.

Jill, Chris and the convict exited slowly. Police moved in and arrested the man, who had a gunshot wound on his right arm. Other officers moved inside to check on the gun shop owner, he turned out to be fine.

Chris and Jill walked over to their captain, looking pleased and feeling good. Chris happened to notice all camera's on him and started walking with a bit of swagger. Jill shook her head but smiled as they returned to their commanding officer.

"Operation successful captain" she reported.

"Indeed." Wesker nodded approvingly alongside Barry.

"That's right! Success has been achieved because we operate as a cohesive whole." Chris started up again, addressing the camera. The COPS guy taping zoomed in as Chris gave Brad a knuckle bump and kept going. "…because citizens need to sleep safe at night is that…" he kept going, loosing himself in the police crowd as he ranted.

Wesker crossed his arms and turned to the crew's lead. "A deal is a deal. Are we agreed?"

The guy turned and nodded. "Totally captain dude. We got more than enough to meet the quota for the show." The man then threw a big grin and snapped his fingers. "Oh! And we are totally coming back next year for a full 2 week special! It'll be rad!"

"…." Wesker internally groaned and leaned against a police car. It had been a long night and this was not a happy ending to it. "1998 is already looking to be a bad year…"

(COPS theme plays)


End file.
